Christmas depression

It's that time of the year again. Time to have that same old depression. Or not. It's funny how one minute I'm all up and having fun and the other I realize that Xmas is one of the loneliest periods of the year. OK, I'm not gonna go all Bridget Jones on you guys, but still.
This year is totally different from last December. My life has turned upside down, well, I made it turn upside down and I'm glad for it. Things are looking up for me, slowly, but they are. Perhaps I could have done better, but I certainly could have done worse.
Yet I'm rising from the bottom, like a phoenix from its ashes. That's my speciality.
And still somehow all this Christmas music is, how to say this politely, xxxxing up my mood.
Love to listen to the old songs, hanging decoration on my windows, planning to buy a tree, and yet. Is it just the fact of not being interested in the presents any more?
Or is it the fact that I feel I've grown old of all this Xmas frenzy?
But I love Rudolph and Jingle Bells and I swear I'm not gonna have those suicidal thoughts again (you don't wanna know...).
Thank God Santa is coming to town, he's seen I've been good, and he can make his list and I'd better watch out and not cry...
I'll make this a good Xmas, with a proper tree and everything, fun and joy, maybe no presents but family and friends, and Misi, and we'll see.
Next year will be awfully good, I promise (to myself).
It has to be, the phoenix is rising :)
So, be good, at least try, or not.
Enjoy, as usual :)
And, you know, may the Force be with us!